How it works

Each of you goes through twenty date ideas and answers yes, maybe or no. You answer on your own, so neither of you is nudged by the other's face. At the end you see three lists: the ideas you both said yes to, the ones where one of you said yes and the other maybe, and the ones you both said maybe to.

Anything either of you said no to never appears. That is the point of the format: when a no costs nothing, people answer honestly, and the yeses mean more.

Why yes, no, maybe works

Asking "what do you want to do this weekend?" puts one person on the spot to suggest something. Then the other has to turn it down. After a few rounds of that, most couples settle into the same three dates on repeat.

A shared list flips it. Both of you react to the same ideas without anyone having to propose them, and the overlap is something you both chose. The "one yes, one maybe" list is often the most interesting one: ideas one of you is excited about that the other is willing to try.

Making it happen

  • Pick one idea from the "both yes" list and put a date on it before you close the page.
  • Alternate who plans. The planner books, the other just turns up.
  • Run the list again in a few months. Answers change, and so do you.

For a night in, the movie taste match finds the films you would both enjoy. For a longer evening of conversation, try the 36 questions.

All 20 date ideas on the list

You each mark every idea yes, no or maybe. Only the ones you both said yes or maybe to are shown at the end.

Cheap and cosy

  • Cook a recipe neither of us has made before
  • Board game night, phones in another room
  • An indoor picnic on the floor
  • Stargazing from a park or a dark spot nearby

Out and about

  • A sunset walk somewhere we have never been
  • A museum or gallery, then coffee
  • Live music in a small venue
  • A comedy night

Food and drink

  • A cuisine neither of us has tried
  • A wine, beer or tea tasting
  • Recreate our first date

Active

  • Bowling or mini golf
  • A hike to a viewpoint
  • A dance class or a night out dancing

Learn something

  • A pottery or painting class
  • A pub or bar quiz night
  • Volunteer together for a morning

Bigger plans

  • A weekend away, booked the week before
  • Camping for a night
  • A trip somewhere neither of us has been