How the check-in works
Each of you rates six areas of the past week, from stormy to sunny: closeness, talking, fairness, fun, affection, and how you handled stress from outside. Then you each write one small wish for the coming week. You answer separately, then see the forecast side by side, with the cloudiest area picked out as the place to start.
It takes about two minutes each. The useful part is doing it every week.
Why a weekly check-in helps
Most couples only talk about the relationship when something has gone wrong. By then, a small thing like a busy fortnight or a few missed goodnights has usually turned into a story about what the other person does not care about.
A short, regular check-in catches those things while they are small. It also makes the conversation routine, so raising a cloudy week does not feel like an accusation. Relationship researchers often recommend some version of a weekly "state of the union" for exactly this reason.
Making it a habit
- Same time each week. Sunday evening or a weekday breakfast, whatever you can protect.
- Lead with the wishes. Ending on what you would like next week keeps it forward-looking.
- One small thing each. A plan with ten changes lasts a day. A plan with one lasts a week.
- Let a stormy week be stormy. The aim is to notice, not to score well.
If the same area stays cloudy for several weeks, it may need a longer conversation. The hard conversation planner can help you open it, and the relationship health check gives a broader view.
The six relationship check-in questions
You each rate every area from stormy to sunny, on your own, about the week just gone.
- Closeness. How close did we feel this week?
- Talking. How well did we talk, and listen?
- Fairness. How fair did the load feel, at home and in planning?
- Fun. How much fun did we have together?
- Affection. How affectionate were we with each other?
- Outside stress. How well did we handle stress from outside, like work or family?
Then you each write one wish for the coming week.