How the check works

You rate sixteen statements across six areas: communication, trust, conflict and repair, connection and fun, fairness, and support and freedom. Each area is marked strong, okay, or needs attention, and the two that need the most attention come with one small thing to try.

Four further questions ask whether you feel safe. If you answer yes to any of them, the result shows confidential support instead of scores, because that matters more than any score.

The check runs entirely in your browser. Nothing you answer is sent to us, and there is no option to send it to your partner.

What makes a relationship healthy

There is no single score for a good relationship, but research and clinical experience point to the same handful of things:

  • You can raise things and be heard. Not every conversation has to go well, but important topics can come up.
  • You trust each other, and that trust is backed by small promises kept.
  • You repair after conflict. Happy couples argue too. What sets them apart is that they make up, and they argue without contempt.
  • You still enjoy each other. Fun and affection are not extras; they are what carries a couple through the hard weeks.
  • The load feels fair, at home and in decisions.
  • You are free to be yourself, with your own friends, goals and opinions.

When it is not about communication

Some relationship problems are not two people communicating badly. Fear of your partner's reaction, being monitored, having your money or movements controlled, or being threatened or hurt are signs of abuse. They are not yours to fix with better wording.

If any of that is true for you, talk to a domestic abuse service. Find A Helpline lists free, confidential ones in your country. You do not need to be certain before you call. If you are in danger right now, call your local emergency number.

If your result looks okay

Pick the area that needs the most attention and start small. The weekly check-in is a two-minute way to keep an eye on things together. The hard conversation planner helps if there is something you have been putting off saying.